I'm not gonna lie, this has been the worst summer of my life. I've been thinking about changing work, about moving back to Finland, I've been crying more than ever, I've been dealing with stuff that I thought I'd dealt with already, I've been hiding in my room, I've been walking around like a robot doing only the things I needed to do. All in all, I've been lost, very lost. I thought I would never survive this summer, but I did and now I know what I'm going to do this winter. I'm giving Gran Canaria one more chance, and if I still feel like moving back to Finland in April, then that's what I'm gonna do. 

 

I never, ever thought I would be even concidering moving back to Finland, but after a short visit a few weeks ago, I realized that maube I left for the wrong reasons and I thought that I had nothing left there, nothing to go back to. I was wrong. If I feel like moving back, I have people who will be glad to have me back. So now moving back to Finland is an option, before it wasn't. Everything depends on how I feel after this season goes on GranCan. Who knows, maybe this is the winter that changes my life for forever? One way or another. 

 

I have a feeling, that this winter is gonna be awesome, I'm gonna have my best friend from Finland beside me all winter. I'll have someone to share my everyday life with. Someone who knows me probably better than I do. Someone who motivates me. Someone who has the same lifestyle as I do. Someone who share the best and worst days with. 

 

I have only 10 days left on this beautiful, beautiful Island and I can't wait to leave it and this summer behind me. It's a shame that everything I've been through had to happen here, because I could have had the greatest summer of my life, Majorca has so much to offer, but now, for the rest of my life, when I hear the word Majorca, I'm just gonna remember how deep down in a hole I was. At the same time I'm gonna remember this summer as the summer when I crawled back up from that hole with the little strenght I had left. Once a fighter, always a fighter. 

 

In 10 days I'm gonna see my best friend again and that way I'm gonna have atleast a small bit of my life in Finland with me. We already have a nice apartment waiting for us and first thing on monday we are going furniture shopping and make the apartment to OUR HOME. No more yellow walls and pink sofas!

 

Ofcourse I have people on GranCan too, who I truly miss and looking forward to meet and spend time with again. Unfortunately, some of my friends over there might not be my friends anymore, but if they aren't mature enough to understand some things, well, maybe they never were friends after all. 

 

With these words, please someone fast forward the next 10 days! 

 

"All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am..."