I have 6 days, 6 long days ahead of me on Majorca and tonight i'm goin crazy. I've been packing, or trying to, all day, and I came to the conclusion that I have to send one more box of stuff by post to GranCan, I just don't have enough space in my suitcase for everything. 

I'm so anxious to leave already that I can't stay still. I've tried laying in the bed, watching tv, calling friends and nothing helps. I'm really tired, but I can't stay still long enough to fall asleep.. Right now I feel like screaming, crying, hitting someone or anything, just so I get all this anxiousness out of me! Going crazy....

Tomorrow I'm moving to a hotel, and then on tuesday I will change hotel and stay there until saturday. Next week this time I will be at our new home with my best friend, we will probably be talking 'till we both fall asleep and then on sunday we have a day full of things to do and in the evening it's time for total disconnecting with wine, friends and a lot of dancing! 

Well, I should probably go back to bed and try to fall asleep or I'll just go crazy thinking about everything! 

I'm not gonna lie, this has been the worst summer of my life. I've been thinking about changing work, about moving back to Finland, I've been crying more than ever, I've been dealing with stuff that I thought I'd dealt with already, I've been hiding in my room, I've been walking around like a robot doing only the things I needed to do. All in all, I've been lost, very lost. I thought I would never survive this summer, but I did and now I know what I'm going to do this winter. I'm giving Gran Canaria one more chance, and if I still feel like moving back to Finland in April, then that's what I'm gonna do. 

I never, ever thought I would be even concidering moving back to Finland, but after a short visit a few weeks ago, I realized that maube I left for the wrong reasons and I thought that I had nothing left there, nothing to go back to. I was wrong. If I feel like moving back, I have people who will be glad to have me back. So now moving back to Finland is an option, before it wasn't. Everything depends on how I feel after this season goes on GranCan. Who knows, maybe this is the winter that changes my life for forever? One way or another. 

I have a feeling, that this winter is gonna be awesome, I'm gonna have my best friend from Finland beside me all winter. I'll have someone to share my everyday life with. Someone who knows me probably better than I do. Someone who motivates me. Someone who has the same lifestyle as I do. Someone who share the best and worst days with. 

I have only 10 days left on this beautiful, beautiful Island and I can't wait to leave it and this summer behind me. It's a shame that everything I've been through had to happen here, because I could have had the greatest summer of my life, Majorca has so much to offer, but now, for the rest of my life, when I hear the word Majorca, I'm just gonna remember how deep down in a hole I was. At the same time I'm gonna remember this summer as the summer when I crawled back up from that hole with the little strenght I had left. Once a fighter, always a fighter. 

In 10 days I'm gonna see my best friend again and that way I'm gonna have atleast a small bit of my life in Finland with me. We already have a nice apartment waiting for us and first thing on monday we are going furniture shopping and make the apartment to OUR HOME. No more yellow walls and pink sofas!

Ofcourse I have people on GranCan too, who I truly miss and looking forward to meet and spend time with again. Unfortunately, some of my friends over there might not be my friends anymore, but if they aren't mature enough to understand some things, well, maybe they never were friends after all. 

With these words, please someone fast forward the next 10 days! 

"All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am..."
 

.... But now I don't feel like going to the beach, too tired for that! 

When you have been working about 4-5 hours per day for the last six months and suddenly have to work "normal" hours, you don't feel like doing anything when you finally get home. Or atleast that's what i'm like now. I usually feel more energetic and do a lot more when i work more, but before you get used to the new rhytm in your life, uff... Right now I don't have a clue how i was able to work in three different jobs the past two summers. I must've been crazy. 

Luckily it's weekend again, and i get to sleep as much as I want, so that I'm ready to work again on monday... 

Good Night, I'm gonna hide myself under a blanket on the sofa and watch tv! 

This weekend has been about relaxing, eating and enjoying the sun. Finally we had some sunbathing weather over here too! Tomorrow I get a "back to reality-slap" right in my face at work, a "long" day ahead of me with quite a lot of guest too. Just kidding, it's nice to work too, that way you apreciate your days off more.

I can't believe how fast the days fly by !! Today I've been here exactly a month, and it feels like i got here yesterday. This season is gonna end before we even notice it. I'm getting nervous already, I must be crazy or something. 

Let's all have a great week ! 

It's friday, finally ! It's the best day of the week for me, as I'm always free on weekends. Today we went to sunbathe on the amazing beach of Formentor with my roomie. Atlast we had a little bit warmer here than 15 degrees, today we were at 20 degrees maybe, and what I understood from the forecast, it looks like summer is finally beginning now. This weekend is dedicated to the sun and only the sun ! 

You just got to love this island. I'm more and more impressed every day! I feel like doing another roadtrip this weekend to find some other amazing places, but i can't decide where I want to go. 

*My dream is to have a house on the beach, even just a little shack somewhere so I can wake up, have coffee, look at dolphins, be quiet and breathe the air*