*I used to think
I had the answers to everything,
But now I know
Life doesn't always go my way, yeah...
Feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realize...*

 

How can a person want two totally different things at the same time?!?  I love traveling and seeing the world. I also get bored very easily, and that's why my job is perfect for me, because I get to change islands every six months. Two months ago I couldn't wait to get out of Gran Canaria but now I really miss it. For the first time in my life I know what being really homesick feels like! At the same time I'm thinking, will i get bored there too after the first month? Should I get a job, that allows me to move around to other places than just GranCan-Mallorca, or should I just try to go to GranCan this winter and decide that I wont change island until I feel bored or ready for it, because it could also be, that the reason why I get bored so quickly is, that I know that I'm gonna move "soon" again, so I just want it to happen NOW ?!? 

 

*I'm not a girl,
Not yet a woman.
All I need is time,
A moment that is mine,
While I'm in between*

 

Okay, so I get bored easily and want to see more places and countries. Then there's the other side of me, that wants to settle down already. That wants to find a place she can call home and where she can find friends and create a life for herself. Still, I don't think I'm gonna be able to do that, before I try one job that I've always wanted to do. Even If it would be for only for one season, but after that I could say that now I've tried, I liked it/didn't like it, and when the time is right, I could settle down. I know, that if I don't try that, and I suddenly find the love of my life or whatever, and I settle down for example on GranCan, I'm always going to think how my life would have ended up if I just had tried it for atleast one season. 

 

*I'm not a girl,
There is no need to protect me.
It's time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own.
I've seen so much more than you know now,
So don't tell me to shut my eyes.*

 

So what should I do. Should I apply for this job now, and if I get chosen, decide in that moment if I'm gonna take the job or not? I know I'm very lucky now, I have a really good and easy job, with few hours of work and a boss that takes good care of his employees, so will I regret changing jobs? If I don't do this now, when will I do it? Wouldn't it be for the best to do it now, and if I don't like it, I could just cross my fingers and hope for the best, that my boss could offer me my job back. I reallly don't have a clue. 

 

*I'm not a girl,
But if you look at me closely,
You will see it my eyes.
This girl will always find
Her way.*
 

People keep telling me, that I shouldn't worry, I'm still young and I have loads of time. Yeah, that might be true, but as I said, I want to settle down and maybe have a family when I'm quite young, I don't want to be moving around anymore when I'm 30 years old. Or who knows, maybe I will end up doing exactly that for the rest of my life...
 

 

*I'm not a girl
(I'm not a girl don't tell me what to believe).
Not yet a woman
(I'm just trying to find the woman in me, yeah).
All I need is time (All I need),
A moment that is mine (That is mine),
While I'm in between.*

 

I love meeting new people and learning about new cultures and learning new languages, but it is tough to begin your life all over again every six months. Okay, now when/if I go back to GranCan I will have my friends there, I know my collegues etc etc, but If i take the other job, I really will be starting my life all over every six months, I will never know where they send me, I will have new collegues and new friends every time, and I will never have that one place that i can call home. 

 

*I'm not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time (All I need),
A moment that is mine,
While I'm in between.*

 

I could apply for the job, and If I decide to take it, I could ask them to send me to GranCan. That way I would have the chance to try the job & be on the island I miss right now. Then again, if I want to apply for the job because I want to see other places than GranCan and Majorca, isn't it stupid to be on GranCan doing a job that I might/might not like, working my ass off and get less salary, when I could be there wiorking in my current job, with great people, less hours and so on... Well maybe I will figure everything out soon, or atleast I hope so...
 

*I'm not a girl,
Not yet a woman.*